Sophie's Story Part 3: Best Friends and Butterflies
1/3/2019 3:15:00 PM | Women's Basketball
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5
Sophie Cunningham was studying at the Mizzou Athletics Training Complex early in her sophomore year when her mother called. Paula Cunningham began by asking if Sophie was sitting down and if she was with anyone who might provide support.
Sophie asked: "What is it, Mom? What's going on?"
Paula delivered terrible news.
"I just remember the screams," Paula said. "She was having a hard time catching her breath, and she couldn't stop screaming."
***
Sophie met her best friend at Kids Depot, a preschool on Columbia's west side. Cameron Bagley, a brown-haired boy with an infectious personality, greeted Sophie on her first day.
"He was such a likeable kid," said Sophie's father, Jim Cunningham. "It was easy to understand why he and Sophie hit it off."
"They were fast friends," said Cameron's mother, Tammy Bagley. "They were the same age and similar personalities. There was definitely a connection between the two of them."
It didn't matter to Sophie that Cameron was a boy. She was so athletically gifted, she usually played with the boys. And so it began, a deep bond that had others believing Cameron and Sophie were actually brother and sister.
"They loved each other, but they also went at each other, too," Tammy said. "But no matter what was happening, they would say 'Goodbye' and 'See you tomorrow.'"
left on top row) with friends
As they entered Columbia Catholic School, their friendship circle expanded to include Ryan Chappell, Jack Golden, Josh Boyer and Wes Waterman, among others. They were constantly together — Sophie and the boys — riding bikes, playing sports and hanging out at West Broadway Swim Club.
Cameron's father was never in his life, leaving Tammy to raise her only son by herself. She was determined to provide the best environment possible. She knew she couldn't always do it on her own.
"Cameron needed a father figure," she said. "Especially as he got older, there were things and questions he needed to ask a man. I was there for him, but he didn't always want to share everything with mom."
As a father of two daughters, Jim Cunningham could relate. There were times his girls had questions, too, and he wasn't always their choice to deliver the answers.
"Cameron was like a son to my dad," said Sophie's sister, Lindsey Cunningham. "He would drop Sophie and me off at practice, and he and Cam would go to McDonald's or do something. They spent a lot of time together."
After sharing most of their childhood together, Cameron and Sophie diverged. She followed her sister's path and attended Rock Bridge High School, where she helped the Bruins win four straight state basketball titles. Bagley and the boys went on to be part of the second graduating class at the newly formed Father Tolton Catholic High School.
"Even though we went to different schools, Cam and I stayed in touch," Sophie said. "He would always check on me and make sure everyone at Rock Bridge was being nice to me. He always wanted to make sure I was happy."
They were quite the pair, but strictly as friends. They did make a pact, however, that if neither had a prom date their senior year in high school, they would go together. That's exactly what happened. They attended the Tolton and Rock Bridge proms.
Best friends — always there for each other.
***
On Sept. 2, 2016, Tammy woke to an early morning call from her brother-in-law, Steve Weise, who was also her neighbor.
"Do you know where Cameron is? Tell me he is in the house," he said.
The next few minutes were a blur. Cameron had come in late the night before and they had talked. She fully expected to see him in the morning. Tammy ran to her son's room but found it empty with the door open. He never slept with the door open. Maybe he was in the living room? Sometimes when he had trouble sleeping, he would move to the couch. He wasn't there.
Anxiety took over as she made her way to the front door.
"Please, please let his car be gone," she thought. "Please let him have stayed the night at a friend's house."
His car was parked outside. As she turned, she saw the emergency vehicles in the subdivision.
***
After completing high school, the childhood friends made their future plans. Sophie accepted a scholarship to play basketball at Missouri. Chappell and Waterman also picked Mizzou. Boyer went to Truman State. Another close friend, Brennan Church, joined the Marines. Golden chose Saint Louis University.
Cameron went to Missouri State.
It's often said that you make your best friends in college, but for this group, that didn't apply. They maintained their tight bond, communicating on social media. Sophie was busy with basketball, but she looked forward to Thanksgiving break. She couldn't wait to catch up with Cameron.
It didn't seem possible that three short months could change a person, but that seemed to be the case with Cameron. He always took pride in his grades and enjoyed his athletic activities. Sophie noticed immediately both were taking a back seat to other interests. She thought a new group of college friends were having a negative influence.
"I remember giving him crap about not caring. That was not like him," she said.
She wasn't the only one who noticed.
"It was clear he had changed," Tammy said. "He had always maintained a balance in his life with school and sports, but when he came home at Thanksgiving, that balance was gone."
Tammy knew she had to do something to salvage her son. She rented a house in Springfield, and he stayed with her for the rest of the fall semester. Then he moved back to Columbia with his mom, leaving Missouri State and hopefully those demons behind.
They followed him home.
***
The news her mother delivered over the phone didn't immediately compute. Her best friend had taken his own life at age 20. Sophie cried until she couldn't cry any more. Her emotions bounced between sadness and anger.
"I will never understand it," she said.
There is no blueprint for parents who experience this tragedy. In her grief, Tammy turned to a family friend.
"We wanted to honor Cameron, and what better way than to ask Sophie to sing at his funeral," Tammy said. "I knew it was a lot to ask, but I wouldn't have approached her if I didn't think she could do it."
Sophie's athleticism has always been open to the public, but she mostly kept her singing to herself. She has an amazing voice, but she has never been comfortable singing in front of people. She would much rather shoot free throws with the game on the line.
"Cam and Tammy were family," she said. "I didn't think I could do it, but I knew I had to for her."
Midway through the funeral mass, Sophie stepped to the altar and said goodbye to her best friend with an emotional rendition of "I Can Only Imagine."
Sophie called it one of the most difficult things she has ever done. When she was finished, she made eye contact with Tammy.
"We both started bawling," she said.
***
Sophie carries Cameron's memory with her in many ways. Father Mike Coleman, a family friend, once told her and Tammy that anything that gives you comfort is a sign from God. Butterflies give her comfort, and whenever she sees one, she believes it is Cameron's way of staying connected. She stays in touch with Tammy with phone calls, texts and the occasional lunch date.
Tolton High School dedicated a memorial bench in Cameron's honor. In early November, Sophie went to the school and paid her respects to her fallen friend. She took a photo and sent it to Tammy.
"She is always so positive to me," Tammy said. "She won't let me be sad. Whoever crosses Sophie's path, she gives them light."
Both prefer to focus not on how Cameron died but how he lived. Tammy formed "Celebrating Beautiful Souls," a 501(c)(3) organization that provides emotional and spiritual support to grieving parents as they cope with the sudden death of a child.
Appropriately, Sophie is a board member.
"My sister will turn it into a positive. That's just the type of person she is," said Lindsey. "She will use the loss of her friend to help others."
"I miss him and don't talk about it much. I've dealt with it in my own way. I know he wouldn't want me to be sad," shared Sophie. "There's a void, but I'm not trying to fill it. That's Cam's spot and it always will be."
Still best friends.
If you would like to learn more about CBS, you can visit the website: www.celebratingbeautifulsouls.org.
